Is this Middle Earth or Nebraska???

You might be wondering how I have indepth knowledge of Orcian battle techniques and tools of war.
Let's begin at the beginning. Mom is always threatening to homeschool me. The thought used to make me break into a cold sweat. However, when I see the class projects that my Grandpa McNeely has pulled off (right under several mothers' eyes, no less) - I am a little consoled. He said the only materials I need for this are an official but home-made trebuchet, a plastic milk jug full of water bound in cotton and tied with twine, dribbled with, of course, gasoline and diesel and last but not least, some poor sucker to throw the match as the trebuchet is firing. Did I mention that some people have been known to refer to my Grandpa as a 'pyro-maniac' but he's a nice guy overall.
Disclaimer: This could hurt you.